Often, couples come to therapy because they feel stuck in a cycle they can’t change. In an effort to get our emotional needs met, each of us adopts unconscious patterns of thought and behavior. Sometimes, particularly if we feel our needs have not been met, we adopt patterns that are counterproductive, fostering the very dynamic we seek to avoid.
During therapy, each partner becomes aware of his or her own habits and assumptions. Within the session, partners gain practice in making different, healthier decisions. Each partner is asked to risk being vulnerable, even for a moment at a time. If that can happen within the therapeutic setting, and each partner’s vulnerability is accepted and respected, we can start to break the cycle of painful entrenchment.
Those moments of intimacy and insight can be extremely powerful in and of themselves. Real change happens, however, as those moments are repeated throughout the week between sessions. Peter helps each partner develop the skills necessary to practice vulnerability and acceptance between sessions, and helps troubleshoot the issues that arise when old habits resurface.
Over time, couples in therapy build new, healthier, and more sustainable habits. Interaction by interaction, couples rebuild that deep emotional bond so crucial to both the success of the relationship and the wellbeing of each partner.